2009's WHY

my new year resolutions.

none.

most of my friends do not have new year resolutions; a few hopeless romantic has but most of us just get bored by making resolutions that we know wont be able to achieve; its like breaking promises to your own self.

my new year started off with quite an ambitious idea as my birthday coincide with the Islamic new year. i had hoped that that would be a sign of good things to come for me in 2009. it does in my marital life as i will be expecting my first son by Feb. Good health, with my brand new home on the way and wifey all happy as a bunny can be.

i cant say so in the career part. i am tired of waiting and exhausted by the amount of work to be done with so little in return. i dont mind the work; i am a passionate guy but the fact that i have the knowledge of unfairness in terms of the compensations given to different level of people, makes me a less dedicated guy trapped in an eccentric soul yearning for the success of my ventures.

resolutions i dont have but what i will ask from God is to seek the knowledge of this world and beyond and to seek my own understanding of why scenario's happened the way they did.

all i am and what i am is this. i am not playing the waiting game nor any kind of political or mind games and whatever comes before me, i will take it and do it the way i do it.

the strength of me comes by my own capacity to think and act independently.

thats who i am and thats what i will always be.

29,29,2009

yesterday i celebrated my 29th birthday. 29th december 2009. seems like a good combo. 29 years old on the 29th dec of the year 2009. talk about getting it right.

at this age, i'd prob should not be worrying about what i'm going to do with my life as it should have fall into place. it seems so but a few days of solidarity and silence have put a lot of things into perspective; mainly the questions of existence, purpose, and the theory to everything.

it's an interesting fact that we have tried to pursue God to the far reach of the universe; our minds have taken us millions of light years into the next galaxy, Andromeda but the very feet that touches the earth soil, modern technology can only takes us 8 miles from the possible hundred of thousands of miles to the center of the earth.

it comes back to our very nature; we like to reach for the sky and yet we have forgotten where we started from.

there's so much that we know about the outer space (or so the western NASA tells us as to justify the billions spent which brings me to another question; why haven't we land on the moon again and the fact that Nasa had lost the moon landing tape?) but we have yet to fully understand the very nature of mantel and crust and how gravity works.

perhaps if we do so, the theory to everything will collapse and the work of aristotle, copernicus, kepler and galileo will be crushed and so will the cosmology study that have long been touted as the greatest study of all and all will be lost together with general relativity, big bang, strings theory and stephen hawking.

i have asked from God to give me the knowledge of this world and beyond. that would be my greatest present that can be given as i have taken back this interest to study existence back from my fourth grade year.

quantum mechanics explained that the universe is no fabric of space nor it expands entirely; it is super complex with infinite variables that makes specific things for different beings.

hmmm... i am beginning to doubt its existence at all.

characters of life.

in a play, storyline presents itself as the central element in a drama; same goes with a football game where the gameplan and strategy is the core factor in winning.

we have made to believe romantically that its all about stories in a drama; that football should be played beatifully as a cohesive team.

i have come to realize that no matter how strong a story can be, and as strategically played football game as a team that can be played, characters and players shaped the kind of perception on the outside audience and inside the pitch.

bicara cinta and inai malam pengantin are very strong dramas; very strong on the storylines but the weakness is in the development of character; from point A to point B, from eps 1 to eps 26. the character never evolves; barely if there any.

same goes with arsenal; hugely talented squad with beatifully played game but there's no players that shape the mentality inside the pitch.

characters and players is central; to drama and arsenal.

imagine the workplace full with robot-like-staffs; cohesive, efficient, but stagnant. an organization must be a thinking-based one and though the core values shaped the vision and mission statement, its the character of players inside that makes it breaks it.

against the odd

last weekend was quite perfect for me for one big reason; arsenal beat man united 2-1. the best part is that arsenal were in a barren run, so bad that they lost to stoke city, drew 4-4 with spurs and 0-0 with fenerbahce just a few days earlier.

unpredictability and the fact that these young lads stand up and fought when their back stacked heavily against the wall.

this is pure motivational dr fadzilah kamsah stuff.

which comes to this point; people, given the right challenge, and the right powerful opponent, can achieve big things against the odd.

arsenal have no choice but to face man united as it's a fixed fixture; but in other form of situation, the challenge is not from the challenge itself, but whether we are willing to give the opportunity to others when times are bad.

2 minds

i am constantly in 2 minds; the desire to do well and do the right thing.

what define a structure is its set of values and core values. the make up of each structure thus creates the organizational culture within capitalism; benchmarked by top level leaders and embedded to the lower ranks.

to do well, one have to embrace these cultures that has been subconciously cultivated; not the core values that is perceived to be, but what it really is. and what it really is, is the fact of what is in the mind and not what the mind see.

what is in the mind is not necessarily healthy depending on the set of values the top leaders project.

i am tempted to take these cultures in and be successful.

but what i am, what im taught to do and what has been my core belief dismisses these cognitive cultures; and my values is in line with what the mind see as core values as an organization.

but life ain't always what we see; same goes with brands.

i might be doing the right thing but not do well, and vice versa.

but as one wise man say of which i have forgotten who, it's the choices that he makes that defines a man; so i choose...

BIG DIFFERENCE; small things.

i am but astound by the very nature that men can make a big difference by small petty things that men does; through words and gestures.

see how socrates words remain unchanged and completely relevant till now when he said that the world is in constant flux.

aristotle's philosophy of brands stand still with his form and structure values and coined the essence of political science and logic.

descartes quotation cogito ergo sum which means i think therefore i am is constantly being used by intellectuals and people of a different backgrounds for thousands of years.

terry fox run is his desire to create an awareness of cancer and even turned down multi million dollars sponsorship as to not detract the purpose.

che guevara travelled on foot instinctively to understand the extent of poverty among latin americans.

bob marley fought discriminations and brutality through his music; so does linkin park and micheal jackson.

all these great men have one commonality; the honesty to tell and share thoughts where it matters.

big men and big ideas comes through the simplest of grammars and gestures. and all men can make a big difference no matter how small the contributions are.

one more thing; these men died; but their thoughts and small gestures had lived.

the beautiful game

football. i love this game. it reminds me of life. unpredictablility and surprises. the rich versus the not so. passion versus money. david vs goliath. and football is the torch of the fight against racism.

my team, arsenal played spurs last night. arch rivals. the game finishes at 4-4; 2 goals in the last 3 minutes sealed a draw for spurs. it was hearbreaking to see we drew at the very last seconds of the game.

but hey, thats life. one can never be sure of anything but be very sure of surprises that will happens along the way.

socrates said thousands of years ago, that the world is in constant flux; that nothing is for certain and take nothing for granted.

granted; cause life will always does that to you.

manzek